Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Self hatred in return for size 0?

I'm the lightest I've ever been but why do I feel fatter than ever? I'm sitting here punishing myself, I've eated circa 400 cals today, but with no excersice and not a great deal of walking. My mum has just bought me 2 pairs of jeans as I can't find any in my size in my local town and i'm worrying that I won't fit in to them when i try them Fri. I hate that I've not been able to exercise tonight and I am worried that by dusting a cake with icing sugar earlier my skin will somehow have absorbed the calories?! Is this the brink?

Latest symptoms:

Ridiculously dry skin
Red bits in between my fingers 
Veins popping
Needing to wee all the time, suddenly and with inability to hold it in
Bruising ridiculously, two nights ago I slept with my ankles crossed, I now have a nice yellow and blue bruise.
Insomnia

Oh yeah and the usual grumpiness, lack of patience and exhaustion.

-- Bony hips, not chocolate lips --

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